Wednesday, May 19, 2010

A New Adventure

I waved as Pookie went down the driveway in my aunt's car. Just he and her, on their way to pick up his cousin from school. They are going to spend a few hours together. As I watched them pull away my mind frantically scrambled to form a complete thought, yet as soon as I thought of one another was rushing in to take it's place.

*He's never gone off with another adult alone like this
*What if no one understands what he's trying to say
*If he gets hurt, he won't know to tell anyone. What if no one notices?
*I hope he doesn't hit anyone or anything
*Wow, is this really happening?
*I'm so proud of him.
*He's smiling and is so happy
*Please God don't let him get discouraged, ignored, insulted.

The first time I sent the older two off with another adult, I felt a nice, soothing yet melancholy feeling. A kind of "ahhh, they're growing up so fast" and "where did time go" type feeling. Yet, they could communicate. They could talk and be understood. They knew if they got hurt and would report the injury immediately to whatever adult was nearby. They didn't get frustrated because no one understood them and rather then take the time to figure it out, they were ignored. They didn't decide not to go places anymore because "they can't hear me".

Yet, I know that I can never protect Pook from the atrocities this world sometimes shows people with special needs. There will be plenty of times in his life where he is ignored because he is not understood. There will be plenty of times in his life where he wants to give up because he feels so jilted and alone. I can not protect him from these things. Rather, all I can do is let him know that God loves him unconditionally, all the time, no matter how things seem. All I can do is let him know that we love him all the time. All I can do is let him know that there will be people in his life who will be his friends even if they can't always hear them.

And so, I am going to take a deep breathe, play some music, say another prayer, and tackle the mounds of paperwork I must complete before vacation.

I'm going to think about the story I read yesterday of a bandit runner who, although in first place, went back to where a man with Asperger's ran and encouraged him so that he finished first. And, I will pray that today my son's life is touched by another child with the same compassion that bandit runner had.