Weddings and Pook

Although I intend to blog more regularly then this, I am 9 days away from my upcoming wedding and therefore short on time. I want to share with you how having a wonderfully amazing child like Pookie has affected our wedding.

Pookie isn’t fond of locations that have many people. He hears everyone at once, unable to filter or block the sound as we do. It causes him pain and can drive him to the point that he is screaming at the top of his lungs. I suspect he does this to drown out the sounds around him. As painful as his screams are to others, and myself we must remember that our regular voices are as painful to him. This said, you can imagine my concern with the wedding and reception following. So, how exactly do you have a wedding with a child whose sensory issues MUST be considered?

Wedding attire: This took quite a bit of consideration on my part. Clothing must be devoid of large seams, very soft, a fabric that doesn’t make noise, familiar, comfortable and super soft. I plan to wash the clothing multiple times before putting them on him and will then have him wear them a few different days prior to the wedding. Of course, this opens the possibility for the clothing to get stains but the alternative is to hold him down kicking and screaming the morning of to get him dressed. He is in the stage that he wants to do everything his older brother does and since their clothes match….I’m hoping this helps!

Procession: Now, with this one, we have no idea. Since my oldest son is giving me away he can’t go down the aisle with him. This leaves him walking down the aisle with his sister. They love each other but for whatever reason he never listens to anything she tells him. Since she’ll have a bouquet we’ll probably let him have the ring bearer pillow. Will he make it down the aisle? No telling. Family members will already be seated in the front row so if all else fails, we’ll coax him with candy! (not a usual occurrence).

During the wedding, do I expect him to be still and quiet? Absolutely not. I’m guessing he’ll sit for a couple of minutes before crying for his Mommy. At this point in time, I fully expect him to end up on my lap waving to everyone in the audience. Of course, he could end up running out of the room and heading to the nursery. Either way, we’ll still be married at the end of the day so its’ not that big of a deal!

Reception: I can see it now. A room cramped with people chattering, food, and a cake. Yeah, this will be fun. Fortunately the nursery is just off the room. I’m not sure how it will work but really, what’s the worse case scenario? Fingers in the cake? Screams erupting as he runs himself into walls? We’ll be surrounded by people who love us. At the end of the day, we’ll still be married! 

Bubbles: Pook loves bubbles. Depending on what he needs, we can use them different ways. Blowing them himself calms him. Having someone blow them for him and allowing him to pop them allows him an outlet. So, our wedding will have bubbles! I fully expect, and want, Pook to be all over the place popping as many bubbles as he can when all start blowing them! 

Honeymoon: Well, since Pook’s been having such a hard time the last few weeks (worse then he’s been in over 6 months) we decided that we could not in good conscious leave him with a sitter. And, if one child will accompany you on your honeymoon, might as well take  the other two as well. So, honeymoon changed to family vacation. Except, we can’t really book a week anywhere. Pook doesn’t always do to well in new places. If he’s not able to handle it, we’d leave. So, no week long reservations. Instead, we’ve decided to use home as “base”. We’ll take day trips that don’t require to far of driving time. We may stay a night here or there in a hotel, but we’ll space nights at home in between.

Overall, having Pook has required us to re-evaluate how we do the wedding and honeymoon after. It’s not a problem, just different. How will Pook see it all when it’s over and done? Hopefully, this won’t be painful to him. If it is, hopefully someone will be with him each step of the way to make sure he’s comforted. Hopefully he'll talk about all the bubbles! He’s a trooper and I know that when all is said and done, he’ll still light up our lives with his vibrant smile, his wonderfully funny jokes, and bounce as all great bouncy balls do (and Tigger to!)!